For seven years Suzanne Lakie was haunted by her brother's death which changed her "beyond all recognition".
The mother-of-three was said to be "driven" to succeed at her job as a special needs teacher in a primary school, but struggled when she took on a managerial role.
Following her brother's death her marriage broke down and she increasingly turned to alcohol to help cope with her deepening depressions.
And though she appeared "lively and bubbly" to friends, she was worried about her older brother's plans to move abroad and her elderly father's faltering health.
After phoning in work claiming she was sick the 48-year-old swallowed anti-depressants and beta-blockers washed down with bottles of wine.
She had penned her suicide note in the same small black notebook her late brother had left an emotional farewell message in before his death in 2009.
Her touching farewell which contained an "apology" was written on the very next page.
Chesterfield Coroner's Court heard in the months before her death on July 4 last year, the dedicated professional was binge drinking and taking time off work as she battled with her demons.
She started the job in 2009, just weeks after her brother David's suicide at his home in Liverpool.
Her ex-husband John Hardy told the court: "That had a profound impact on her.
"She never recovered from the sadness of it all, it affected her deeply. She was never the same person again."
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