I was constantly being hurt by people I cared about and was good to, my career...well, I didn't have one and it wasn't for lack of trying, people I loved were going through tough times, everything wasn't going right. It became hard to pray. I'd stay in my house, in bed for daysss. I never talked about it. On so many occassions, I'd cry myself to sleep. I constantly wished i was someone else. I was deeply unhappy. Continue...
Can't remember how but I was finally able to start praying through it all. Started talking bout it too. I Wish I could tell you that things got better immediately. Lol. They didn't but I'll tell you what did happen. I fought every single day for my life. The life I knew was mine. I started to focus on what i did have and became more thankful. I started to speak positively about myself and my life. I started to smile more. I started to laugh more and then I learnt the secret of being content in any and every situation. I also learnt to give even when I had very little. I worked on myself and asked God to make me better. One day I remember hearing ' it'll all make sense some day'. I'm not saying it all makes sense now but things are definitely better than they used to be. It didn't happen overnight but it did happen. Slowly but surely. There's a reason I constantly try to remember to keep God at the centre of it all. He's literally holding me together.
I still go through tough times, everyone does but my perspective has changed. We don't see complete pictures but I serve a God who does.
I know it's tough and I'm really sorry. If no one has told you before, i want you to know that you're stronger than you can possibly imagine, even on the days that you can't get yourself out of bed.
You're beautiful. You're loved. You're cherished. You're forgiven and the world needs you. You're not a mistake. All these are true, whether you believe in God or not.
I don't know why I wrote this but I feel someone really needs it.
Now and always, ?? Sunshine.
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