He has taken her to the High Court after it came to light the boy was fathered by someone she had an affair with.
The man has been barred from publicising the name of the real child's biological father.
He also wants damages to compensate for distress. Mr Justice Cohen said the boy must not be told 'until the time was right'.
He said a social worker would give advice and decide when the boy should be given the information.
The judge has outlined his decision in a written ruling following the latest round of litigation at private hearings in the Family Division of the High Court in London.
He said no-one involved could be named in media reports of the case.
The man and woman had argued over whether the boy should be told who his real father was. The man said he should be told. His estranged wife was against such a move.
Detail of the case had emerged in July when the judge published an earlier ruling.
The judge said the man had been devastated to learn that he was not the boy's father and had launched a 'raft' of litigation. He said the woman was 'full of remorse'.
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